As the world moves from outrage to humour in order to highlight the quixotic nature of the United State’s Trump presidency, RTP’s satirical show “5 para meia noite” has come up with a must-see clip appealing to the leader of the free world whose banner is “America First”, to at least, (please) put Portugal second.
Using a Dutch spoof format that has already gone viral, the RTP team has presented Portugal’s illustrious past with an inimitable Trump-twist: “It’s amazing how old we are, we should be dating your wife”, starts the voice-over, sounding uncannily like the American president.
“Our founding father and first king fought his own mother, a total bitch”, the history lesson continues, as cockroaches are released across an old fashioned map of the world: “500 years ago, we were HUGE”, says the voice.
In fact, Portugal and America have a great deal in common. “We also had a lunatic running for president… but Tino de Rans didn’t win”. Mind you, the winner was a television personality “like you”, the quips continue.
“You have the Trump Tower, we have the Belém Tower” (break for hilarious laughter, as this national icon is described as the “best monument in the world, seriously, it’s fantastic”).
And then the words start to ‘bite’: “Our current prime minister was also elected without the majority of popular vote…If you have any problems with Putin, which you will, immediately call António Costa. There’s nothing he can’t fix”.
It goes on to say “But we do have your worst nightmare: a black woman as secretary of justice…”
José Sócrates is part of the nightmare, due to having been arrested, but the clip says: “You can take him to help build the wall, free of charge, take him, he says he’s an engineer”.
Signing off with “screw the Dutch, they are more orange than you”, the clip reminds Trump that there are around two million Portuguese living in the US, and they would be delighted if the new POTUS decided that notwithstanding America’s requirement to be first, could he please place Portugal second.