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Pay attention, S’il vous plait

This week, René from ‘Allo ‘Allo, the latest product by the Algarveans Theatre Group, has left a message for readers of the Algarve Resident about the upcoming show…

Text by JENNY GRAINER

It is me René – Michele ‘as a meeting with ze other members of ze resistance but she wants you to know that everything eez going to plan – well almost!

The problem is with my wife Edith – isn’t it always – and I ‘ave left ‘er in charge of the café God ‘elp us – whilst I send this from our secret transmitter cleverly ‘idden in a stuffed cockatoo.

I don’t know ‘ow, but she – my wife – ‘as discovered that I am coming to the Algarve to ‘elp Michele with ‘er recruitment drive for more members of the resistance ‘Vive la France’ and I will be bringing my waitress Yvette – well why not – wouldn’t you? I shall need ‘er to ‘elp me dress and undress and…. Well, you know.

Gloria Costa as ‘Edith’.
Gloria Costa as ‘Edith’.

Now Edith wants to come as well and bring ‘er deaf as a doorpost mother! What shall I do? ‘ow will the clever Algarveans Theatre Group disguise my wife’s awful singing voice if she bursts into song (which she always does unfortunately)?

But I must concentrate, I ‘ave every confidence they will overcome and everything will be prepared for us when we arrive at the Lagoa Auditorium with the comfortable seats and air conditioning on May 12, 13 and 14 at 20.00h or 8pm if you are English.

Don’t forget your entrance pass disguised as a ticket – you won’t get in without it and there will be a contribution to our cause of 10 euros for grown-ups and ‘alf for little people.

There are two secret numbers to telephone – 969 631 329 and 917 776 245 – also there is a special coded contact [email protected] so do it now and we will see you there. But remember – do not tell anybody!

Au Revoir, René