Wild beasts

ENGLAND NEW boy, Theo Walcott, was given an unexpected opportunity to show off his speed (11.4 seconds over 100 metres) when threatened by a Doberman in a German restaurant. The 17-year-old decided discretion was the better part of valour as the hound made a b-line for him, and took off out of the doors. Meanwhile, authorities in Bavaria are worried that a loose bear, named Bruno, could provoke an embarrassing incident – the beast has so far killed dozens of chickens while evading hunters.


STEWARDS FORCED England fans at the Trinidad & Tobago match to hand in all Nike articles of clothing in deference to main sponsors Adidas. Worse was in store for thousands of Dutch supporters, who were made to strip off specially made orange lederhosen in a bid to counter ‘ambush marketing’. The perpetrators in this case were Budweiser.

Life and death

AN ECUADOR fan, who had wagered 500 euros on his team loosing the opening clash with Poland, promptly killed himself following the 2-0 victory. Meanwhile, Fifa are deciding if they should punish the Australian squad, who had bet on who would score the tournament’s first goal amongst themselves.