Ode to easyJet

Once again in the sky to my country of birth, where the air is so stale and the seats have no girth.

The easyJet method of rush and let’s go, don’t worry about standards, nor health, just cashflow.

You want to save money and travel so far, so accept the service that’s way below par.

But you are not sub standard, you’re quite upper class, so you flash your wallet and obtain a speedy boarding pass.

You’re now waiting and ever so proud, with your S.B. ticket at the front of the crowd.

You sprint to the plane, elbowing all to and fro, as you strive and stumble to your exit row.

Though bruised and battered you strap yourself in, now hoping the seat next to accommodates a passenger short and thin.

But your mind turns to panic as a shell suit arrives, housing obesity with thunderous thighs.

Your armrest is lost in a mass of lard so you lean to the aisle playing your very last card

And yes you find some space to be oh so jolly but crash, you’re smashed by that fabled drinks trolley.

But your shoulder will heal, it’s a minor bruise and it could be much worse like an EasyJet cruise.

But the crew are so kind with their so youthful faces as they explain at the airport they have lost all your cases.

You eventually arrive, just how you don’t know, but the delay was just technical, caused by wind, sun and snow.

My advice to you all, please don’t forget, you get what you paid for and that’s easyJet.

By Ken