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England – Swede calamity

Just when all seemed well aboard the good ship England, its commander-in-chief has sailed her perilously close to a treacherous reef, seriously undermining moral on the eve of battle.

Head coach, Sven Goran Eriksson, previously the culprit in several unsavoury affairs, has once more plunged the nation into confusion, with his injudicious and downright stupid behaviour. This time, the hapless Swede fell not for a “femme fatal” or the overtures of a Russian billionaire, but a News of the World undercover reporter posing as an Arab sheik – the oldest trick in the book. England’s highly paid coach, in charge of the country’s expectations in Germany only four months away, felt it wise to reveal that he did not intend staying in his job, recommending a Premiership club ripe for take over, with himself at the helm. To make matters worse, “Svenners” proceeded to make derogatory remarks about several of his star players. In any other free market context, such disloyalty would warrant instant dismissal, a public hanging at dawn in centuries gone by. We will now have to see if the “Teflon man” will survive yet another storm of his own making, or if the egg plastered all over his face will stick.